Bankroll back on tracks

Ive played very poor the last week or so online tired from playing live casino tournaments and one night almost butchered my bankroll after having a few beers.
I decided this morning to go shit or bust and started playing $10 6max sng's
I loaded up 3 games ... won 2 x1st place & 1 x 2nd putting my bankroll higher than all the madness began
Although its nice to be back in profit im not satisfied how i allowed myself to go off tracks and start chasing money.
I dont really deserve to be in profit but i am so fuck it 

My plan is to continue playing 6max untill hopefully build a bankroll enough to start playing multi table sng's

Alcohol and Poker grrrr

I'd like to confirm that playing poker while drinking red wine is not good for your game
I have been playing fairly consistent and improving for a while but Sunday night i decided to drink red wine while playing online.
I lost respect for my little bankroll and what i am trying to achieve which at the moment is really just to improve as a poker player and not deposit again.
Ive been on a bit of a break even stretch and after a few glasses of wine can just remember thinking so what if i go busto. you only live once etc etc
So i lost a few buy-ins and decided to buy into a cash game with the remainder of my bankroll.
I hate calling $90 a bankroll because its peanuts but i decided that if im going to be good at poker then i should prove it to myself by building a roll from scratch.
I went as low as $20 playing the cash game but quit at about $55 thankfully went to sleep
since i have got it back up a bit to $63
but its crap because i was showing a profit after 200 games since joining fulltilt but now im -$15
I know i will get it back and continue but its really stupid to play while drinking wine.
Its ok to have a gamble and enjoy poker but i dont want to be a losing player
grrrrrr

i also noticed that having a couple of beers while playing live affects my game . .i know its obvious that alcohol will affect playing poker but i enjoy having a drink once or twice a week and would like it while playing poker lolz


Tonight im going to play live casino £25 quadruple chance freezeout which is basically you get 5000 starting chips and 3 tickets worth 5k each which you can exchange anytime up untill or at level four which is 2 hours
its just a way of keeping the fish happy at the casino

update:

Didnt cash last night , busto AK

flop A72

he had pocket 77's ;(

Tiredness and playing poker rant

Being tired while playing poker is one of the biggest mistakes you can make sometimes
i dont know how it affects other people but when im tired and i cant even play a 6 max turbo sng properly.
Its even harder when i have just started playing in an mtt and i really wish i could turn back the clock and unreg.
ok my post is negative but i have to say it because im really trying to improve my game lately by playing both online and live poker but the both dont mix well.
One 5am final table in a live casino tournament can mess up my whole week and its even worse when that late night finish was busting on the bubble .
but  will contunue playing live because i enjoy the social side of it .
Theres absolutely no value in live poker where i play because when you take out your travel and general expenses your winnings wont go far
say you bink once a week @ £700 .. how much is that in profit ? not exactly a living
and these are £30 buy-ins on average with about 60 entrants which takes 8 hours to complete !
i could play 4 x180 man turbos online in less than 3 hours online without leaving my bedroom
so why do i do it ?

oh fuck this blog post ...... i could only depress you more if i continue lol so i quit here


first hand tonight :)

 Full Tilt Poker Game #32238894721: $5 Sit & Go (Turbo) (250309085), Table 1 - 15/30 - No Limit Hold'em - 16:03:37 ET - 2013/03/03
Seat 1: hector1988 (1,500)
Seat 2: scott24985 (1,500)
Seat 3: domm74 (1,500)
Seat 4: jko960 (1,500)
Seat 5: pcaria (1,500)
Seat 6: TheBinkMeister (1,500)
hector1988 posts the small blind of 15
scott24985 posts the big blind of 30
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to TheBinkMeister [Ad Ah]
domm74 has 15 seconds left to act
domm74 folds
jko960 folds
pcaria folds
TheBinkMeister raises to 90
hector1988 calls 75
scott24985 folds
*** FLOP *** [7c Qc 7d] (Total Pot: 210, 2 Players)
hector1988 checks
TheBinkMeister bets 30
hector1988 raises to 60
TheBinkMeister raises to 90
hector1988 raises to 1,410, and is all in
TheBinkMeister calls 1,320, and is all in
hector1988 shows [As Qd]
TheBinkMeister shows [Ad Ah]
*** TURN *** [7c Qc 7d] [Ts] (Total Pot: 3,030, 2 Players, 2 All-In)
*** RIVER *** [7c Qc 7d Ts] [4c] (Total Pot: 3,030, 2 Players, 2 All-In)
hector1988 shows two pair, Queens and Sevens
TheBinkMeister shows two pair, Aces and Sevens
TheBinkMeister wins the pot (3,030) with two pair, Aces and Sevens
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 3,030 | Rake 0
Board: [7c Qc 7d Ts 4c]
Seat 1: hector1988 (small blind) showed [As Qd] and lost with two pair, Queens and Sevens
Seat 2: scott24985 (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: domm74 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: jko960 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: pcaria didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: TheBinkMeister (button) showed [Ad Ah] and won (3,030) with two pair, Aces and Sevens

Hard life playing poker

Its a hard life playing poker .. i recently started a challenge to make $500 from $20 and was doing ok but decided to move up from $2.25  6 max sng's to $5 and as you can see from the chart above i started hitting swings which are too high for a $80 bankroll so im back at $2.25 untill i build up more money.
After about 160 games i have made $1 profit :) which is telling me that i need to improve my game
Its also telling me that the days of depositing more money into my poker account every few days to continue playing are coming to an end.
I think as a poker player its always best to be honest with yourself and be realistic about how good or bad you are as a player.
Not many players like to admit that they are at fault for losses by blaming it on variance or bad beats or the poker software they are using.
I feel im learning a little bit more each day about poker and will get much better when it all comes together so im satisfied with my game .
My chart above is a very small sample and could easily be much higher or even lower but i suppose at some point the bad beats or wins level out so theres no point me saying it would be great if i didn't have so many badbeats.
Theres one area of my game which is nothing to do with the cards which has made a difference to the chart above and profits and thats mindset.
I would say that ive been positive the majority of the time but theres been quite a few sessions where ive continued playing in a poor frame of mind or tilted and thats probably a key area that makes a difference to poker players long term profits.
I think to be a consistent long term player you need to realise that every time you play poker n a negative frame of mind you take away your profits as a player.
Looking back & chart above  i had no control over downswings , variance , bad beats etc and the majority of decisions i made were based on what i have learned so far regardless if they were good or bad decisions
What im trying to say really without making excuses is that if over the 160 games if managed to stay more focused and in a good frame of mind the chart above would tell a different story .
Theres been a few times i played whilst drinking alcohol and recently i have played online after a late night playing live casino competitions
ie last night i bubbled in 7th place at 3am and got to sleep at about 4am but still i have played several games today and probably play about ten sng's tonight.
Today im both tilted and tired after last night but i will continue playing as part of my learning includes seeing as many hands as possible and theres a few things i want to try out.

update later if i play.

btw i have earned $1 and paid $26 rake to Fulltilt.

That pretty much sums up the business lol